Gentlemen, please aim carefully or else you will lose your bathroom privileges. We appreciate your cooperation in keeping the facilities neat and tidy.
Dear employees, for your financial benefit, we do not advise having a baby at this time. Your insurance plans do not cover the costs.
Beloved employees, due to an accounting error, you have all been over compensated in the past few months. Rest assured, we have affordable payment plans that you can choose from to pay the company back.
Dear employees, the IT department has been receiving a vast quantity of equipment damaged by liquids, as a response all beverages near desks must be secured in sippy cups.
We are proud to be an “at will” employer. “At will” is defined as working at the will of your caring supervisor.
Some employees have recently gagged violently due to strange smells in the office. As a result, exotic fruits and foods are forbidden on the premises.
Proper grooming and attire have a positive impact on company image, and promote a productive work environment. Thank you for wearing “club” attire.
We are committed to your safety and health, therefore violence of any kind is prohibited. Please note, clashing of hands between employees, also known as a “high five”, falls into this category.
Dear team, as of today Ann Chovie is no longer an employee of the company. We wish her the very best in her future endeavors.
“Liking” the company Facebook page is a great way to show your pride while allowing us to increase our online social presence. Please note, all employees must “Like” the company page.